I don't believe in Soulmates

I love my husband and I love my marriage, however, I don't believe that we are so happy because we are "meant to be" or "soulmates." I dated a lot, but when it comes to being in love, I have only been there twice. Once with a high school boyfriend that I sent out on a mission and the other is obvious. When John and I started dating, I based most of my actions in our relationship on my preconceived ideas from my first love. I expected our relationship to be similar.
I remember so specifically, when John and I were young in our dating relationship, I was sitting at a traffic light on my way to see him and was going through a conversation in my head that I wanted to have with him. I was sure it would go something like this...
"John, I'm a little irritated that every time you come to pick me up, you are consistently 10 minutes late."
I figured he would say something to the effect of "Well, you're not even ready when I get here, so why be on time?"
I would retort "I would be ready if I knew you would be on time."
From there it would turn into a heated debate and I had every defense worked out in my mind, so he couldn't get me from any angle. I was going in on the offense and felt very confident that I was prepared to "win" this argument.
I walked in the door and said "John, I'm a little irritated that every time you come to pick me up, you are consistently 10 minutes late." I had my game face on and was ready for his come back.
"Really?" he said to me, "I didn't realize that bothered you. I'll try harder to be on time from now on."
!!!!!
My jaw hit the floor and from that moment on, I knew this guy and this relationship were different.

You better believe I fought though! My first love was still on his mission and coming home within 6 months. I was ready and willing to marry my "high school sweetheart" and not prepared to have feelings for any other.
My mom will tell you that I (foolishly) vented any little frustration to her and I believe I even used the phrase "I could never marry this guy." OOPPPSSIE! But for some reason, I was continually drawn to him and fascinated by his thoughts when we were together.

We grew close and fell in love without realizing it. My long awaited time was here to welcome my missionary home and start on our wedding plans. LOOOng story short, it just did not work out with him. I wanted it to so badly. I prayed, plead and begged the Lord to let this be right, let him be the one, let this work out. My life was in complete disarray and I knew it was not to be. Very sadly, I shared these feelings with "the guy I could never marry." Eventually he said "Marry me!" And I finally felt at peace. Even with that, I believe I had a choice to make. I seeked guidance from my Father in Heaven (and my father on earth) and both lead me to this conclusion...That this is where life had brought me, these are my choices and I chose John.That's not the end of the story though, that's just the very beginning. John's healthy view of solving conflict by apologizing and striving for change became our way of life. It's not always easy. We argue. We actually disagree quite a bit. But we work hard for each other and now for our three children.

In fact, the other day I was cleaning our bathroom. As I scrubbed around his sink, I felt tiny razors cut through my fingers. I looked down and was bleeding profusely from my middle finger. I turned on the faucet and let cold water run over my finger and wash my blood down the drain. While standing there, I did a little investigating. John uses an electric razor and I realized that tiny shaven whiskers were piled between the sink and the countertop, some sticking out like "tiny razors." I was pretty mad that John would be so careless to leave his whiskers in such a place that could hurt me. How could he? He doesn't ever clean the bathroom! Maybe he should start so he can learn some manners. I was building my defense again (I still do sometimes) when he happened to come down stairs and asked what happened. I explained to him his rude and thoughtless behavior (Yes, with my game face on) and showed him how he had injured his beloved wife. "Wow" he said, "I'm so sorry. What do you think I can do to make sure this doesn't happen again?" I wanted to say "Clean the bathroom yourself." But the true concern in his voice crumbled my defense and brought back my logic. "That's weird" I told him "You've been shaving like this for years and this has never happened before. How about you be extra careful when you clean your razor and I'll be extra careful when I clean your sink." He got me a bandaide and gave me a kiss.

He's not my "soulmate" we weren't "destined." We met, we fell in love, we work hard every day to better ourselves and make the other happy. This is why my marriage is wonderful, no other reason.